Awaken his interest by laying down on the floor and playing with his toys, start kicking a ball, or whatever will catch his interest. I know shes only 6 months but shes not loving at all towards me..If i try to hug her and cuddle she pushes and screams and kicks, she would rather go to anyone but me.i treat her like an angel and I dont understand why she doesnt seem to love me.. Shes a really happy smiley baby. But it is common, normal and it will pass, especially if you can avoid reinforcing it by letting your frustrations shine through to your baby. We now understand that this is just a phase and will follow through on your suggestions, Well i am very upset these days my problem is when i use to come back from home my baby didnt comes to me he goes to everyones hand except me i use to cry at night daily of this reason i have fear that he will forget me forever and the attachment will not develop between me and with my baby in 24 hrs he use to come in my hand for only 1 hr.Will my baby forgets me forever or will not i use to wait daily for him at office to meet him as soon as possible but he doesnt gives any reaction to me when i come to home,i am very tensed please give solid solution as he is closed to his grandma and with my brother-in-law. I am feeling so rejected and lonely. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. Making daily life work with a little toddler/baby is not always easy, so being able to help each other, discuss situations and both taking responsibility makes a difference. Its been like this since he was a newborn. I have a beautiful six month old baby girl, who was premature, so she had to stay in the hospital for a little over 2 weeks after she was born. After all, during their first twelve months babies still physically need mother's milk. A few family members told me to tell my girlfriends mum & dad (nana, granddad) to back off & give us some space when he was born because they were always round us & wouldnt let us breath. That was quite hard, when I was feeling like I was being rejected and that I was doing something wrong. Maybe worth trying for you too? Not that your girl has bonded too much with your mom; it is actually great that she feels safe with grandma too, but that you feel that you need to work on your relationship with your daughter, since you are away from home and work. will my daughter never love me or be close to me. I loved my baby boy the minute I saw the ultrasound. Do you think itll pass? - Author Lori Mihalich-Levin in Back to Work After Baby: How to Plan and Navigate a Mindful Return From Maternity Leave.". for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. We dont know what happened while she was in the other state but I think she needs to have that bond with her mother. Since I read your post I have been praying for you every day. So am just going to take every day as it comes I like the advice about spending quality time 5/10/15 min with my boy. She cant even choose not to, because you are her mom. So youve done great job. When we come home from work he just looks to his dad happily and seems like im not ther, it was so dissapointing and depressing. I encourage you, because Ive been there, to seek help if youre struggling with depression. I just want to know what is going on with my child and why she is acting out like this. It breaks my heart that my daughter doesnt want anything to do with me. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. He will be picked up and carried around for the smallest incident. My partner goes away and when I am on my own we have a perfect routine and daddy comes home, she hits me and pushes me away. I hate the feeling of being rejected by my only child to the point where I dont even want her. I think for young babies, being reminded of the other parent can be too painful to endure. Then when my mother-in-law came to pick him up so I could go to work and I tried to give him a kiss he wouldnt let me and he hit me in the face and cried when I tried to give and hug and hold him he cried. It hurt me so much, I feel as if lm not doing enough. Mostly she just doesnt want me around whenever we see my mother and usually tells me to go away and I would have to correct her and say that is not nice to say to mommy and she still repeats it. I am very responsive with both. But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . It has been 37 years and we are not close. I had the same reaction from my baby girl. my husband always gets out and travel, but when he gets home, my boys are so excited to see him. More Like This My wife is set on the fact that she will not change her behavior towards his daily activities. Because thats what is happening! Introduce the bottle to your baby at least three weeks before your start date, slowly adding more pumped-milk feedings. Any idiot can get pregnant but being a loving mother is something entirely different. i know i need to love her now but do feel so sad when she pushes away from me. I often feel that I could leave any day, never to return and my daughter would never notice. Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. it felt so good reading all the posts and knowing that out there, there were so many mums who felt the same as I did. Take care of yourself during this time. I dont know what to do, I feel desperate. He will also frequently choose his dad over me. Yeah, as you can see, it is common! She does not have any memories of you crying and even if she did, she wouldnt hate you for it. Take a bath the three of you, cuddle up together for a nighttime story and go out having fun together. Very hard, even. Step 1: Bring the nipple (no bottle attached) to the baby's mouth and rub it along the baby's gums and inner cheeks, allowing the baby to get used to the feeling and texture of the nipple. Of course we can go the road of power struggles, but it wont help. I felt so upset, My 18 month baby boy really likes his dad than me. Reading the entries and knowing that others are going through the same thing somehow makes me feel a little better. Since you live with your parents, your situation is quite similar to that of all dads (usually), who work and come home, only to find that their child prefers mom, who is around all the time. He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. So I came online, and read this entire thread. I just want it with me too. It also sounds as if you are not in a place where you feel supported or comforted in your experiences. So the estrangement between the two of you became mutual. Being just 1 month old (you can read about the milestones of a 1 month old baby here), your daughter doesnt think anyone is her mom she is just reacting to what feels the most secure. For you, later bedtimes may equal more fun time with baby. Mom's Question: she enjoys talking to him on a phone. Which makes me feel guilty that he feels guilty. Just recently he has started clinging to Daddy again, and I noticed that it was coinciding with feeling quite homesick (I live abroad, far away from my parents and siblings). But those 6 weeks were rough for everyone involved, and baby's gotta eat! Mine is something similar. Its easy for the preferred parent to dismiss our emotions. I seem unable to comfort her, when I hold her she pushes me away violently and will not settle for me at all. I feel bad for the child. Im ready to walk but want to be there for my children & my girlfriend is due again in December with another little boy. Things will get better. Your baby will not feel abandoned by you when you return to work. However, there is no way of telling ahead of time whether your baby will go happily from breast to bottle and back again. Also, when you come home, try to be together with them together with your wife as much as possible, so that their separation anxiety regarding mom doesnt come between the three of you. One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. Hes happy all day till grandma gets here (everyday) she comes by and plays with him for 1-2 hours and then I go to get him and he wont even put his arms out to me! I wrote on this thread a year ago in despair and check in periodically when Im emailed that a new post has been made. That is not to say that you dont have a real problem. Try putting the bottle itself inside a brightly coloured sock or wrap it in some clothing that smells of his mother. Give your girl as much time, love, attention, and body contact as you can. And I suspect it isnt helping your wife either. It breaks my heart when she cries and kicks when daddy leaves her alone with me. But, I do know I cant wallow. While I would never ever leave my child, I am very concerned about the lasting effect on our relationship. I want my baby to love me as much as I love her, but I understand I cant force that. Or has anyone here experienced their toddler crying when they hear the parents voice on the phone and they are fine once they see them? Whenever my fiance and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her fathers she cries and clings to her father. Hi, And if your having trouble bonding with your child, and he/she is old enough to understand then sit them down and explain you are their mom and you love them, hug them, play with them and be involved with them on how you feel. Paula, please give me some advice! And as being the preferred caretaker at the moment, your mom can help you a lot by firmly handing over your daughter to you at certain points. I know a significant factor in my issues with my son was my inability to bond because of my terrible adjustment to being a mother/post partum depression. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. Other babies become extremely attached to that person any time she or he is around. 8) Life is hard for everyone, working moms included. Here is the background: Ive been dating my boyfriend for over a year but knew him and his daughter since she was 8 months. It is so important that you separate this! So worried he is forgeting about me. Can someone please advise me on what to do? i have a baby girl who is now almost a month old. So once him and I began dating his daughters mother began using the daughter as leverage to get things in return for him to spend time with his daughter. The situation must be painful for you. Have you ever considered that? If this has happened to you, you might be sad, worried, and frustrated. All she needs is her grandparents or father. Otherwise, you will reinforce her wishes to put distance between the two of you and her wish to go to the other person, where does not experience any bad emotions. Try "introducing the mouth to the bottle" rather than trying to get the baby to drink. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. Yesterday, Xmas day, he passed the whole day following her everywhere! Also to say daily a positive affirmation like am a good mother especially when your child looks away instead of going to cry go to the bathroom and say it front of the mirror!!! 6 wk old son doesn't like me (his mother) by: Anonymous. Consider co-sleeping, where your daughter sleeps between the two of you. Paula, up at night, etc) but when our baby sees his dad he smiles and knows that for the next 20-30 minutes dear daddy is going to throw him up in the air and play. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. Its my first baby and this hurts sooo much inside seeing it happen everyday. Try carrying your baby's photo with you at your workplace. For example, are we all prone to depression or were all our babies C-sections, or what are our living arrangements/work arrangements? After reading these posts I made sure to remain absolutely calm and neutral and not get teary or upset when he preferred his daddy over me. my 13 month old is having the worth temper tandrums ever. Tonight, he did not want to come to me she had to push him on me! If your baby was nursing well and suddenly refuses your breast, this may be what some call a . She is my first child and she is the most pleasant little thing ever so I dont understand why she doesnt all of the sudden not want nothing to do with me. seems like they dont need me anymore. Paula, Stay At Home Mom Rejected By Baby If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. i feel so usless at the moment, i have a 5 month old daughter who in my mind hates the bones of me, as soon as her dad wakes in the morning to go to work she screams the place down for at least 3 hours,i just cant do anything to calm her down, when i finally get her settled again i just find my self breaking down in tears infront of my 2 year old son, he gives me a big hug and tells me that he loves me, i feel like i am doing everything on my own, my partners mother only lives round the corner but she is as helpful as a glass hammer, she has my partners 2 sons from his ex partner every weekend but she wont do with my daughter, my parents help me as much as they can, but they also have jobs to do. She wants me over anybody except when they are around. i am a working mom. He gets really upset when Daddy leaves the room. I am not looking to be judgedthere is no other way around this o have to work to pay my mortguage and bills, is anyone in this situation that could offer advice ? He loves her and often she is so mean that he gets his feelings hurt. 2 weeks after I had my baby boy I got Post Partum Depression very very bad but I wasnt pushing my baby away I would feed him and play with him everything that I could do for him not to feel my anxiety and depression I am finally out of this depression but I noticed that my son (11 months) would rather be with his aunt than me. she would prefer me if she is with me and strangers but at home I am no where in her priority list. I have a step-son myself, and even though his mom is great, he absolutely did not want to talk to her on the phone when he was little. You may be feeling a range of emotions about being away from your baby, all while getting used to a new daily routine that might involve busier mornings, daycare drop . she fetches her from pre school to be with her , she does mind going with him but when im there , she even cries, she can take anything that he bring her , bt wont allow him to hold her or talk to him. Trying to raise a 1 year old is impossible. I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. Since about 3 months old she prefers daddy over mommy but now it is to the point where she tells me I dont love you I love my daddy. She pushes me away and wants nothing to do with me. Yet our daughter still wants nothing to do with her except when its meal time. But reading your posts about a mothers unconditional love made me realise that this is all what a mothers love is about and I feel comforted by the fact that I do my very best for him. It breaks my heart Ive cried many times!! Also if I am holding him and she walks by, he struggles to get away from me. She is neither excited when I get home nor unhappy when I leave in the morning. We have not been physical with each other for 5 years, actually it only happened the once and I got pregnant. They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. The wrong nipple was used and baby has become a little lazy. Who would have thought that a tiny little mite like her could devestate me. 6. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. blessings to you all. Skype is also, of course, an option, but your babies may not respond to that with any great interest there and then. but Ive become hardened to it. I work 4 full days a week and am with him without fail 24/7 the other 3. I feel robbed of the moments that I didnt get to enjoy with him, she pushed to give him his first bath and has done so much as she says she is helping. Tomorrow I am going back to work full time after taking 4 months off to be with my son. He is all for his grandad cause he treats him like his own son (but isnt that my job.) And yes, I think that would be great for many reasons. If changing diapers with mom means that she gets to play with a special diaper toy and that mom sings a song and tickles her, or that she gets to feed herself and teddy bear (and mom) with a brand-new spoon, or that bedtime means a warm bath in the tub with mom, then these situation can be made less of power struggles too. So it did happen, but it took awhile and, like I wrote before, he still prefers my partner maybe 60-70% of the time (again only when the stark choice is between us only). When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . Push her away and put your foot down. Hi, mummys! He is now a year old, but at around 9 months he did the same thing with me. Try movement like rocking 4. Your girls are now 8 months old. My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. Please help! I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. Say he only listens to his dad and not me, not sure what to do , he is 7. Just feel depressed that my 11-month-old does not want me and prefers my mom all the time its my fault.. due to certain unavoidable circumstances I had to leave her with my parents in my home country for 5 months, and now I am reunited with her (at 10 months)..its been a month with her now.. Ive been trying to bring her around to like me.. she does like me, I spend quite some time with her. It is a relationship that binds every human for their whole life. Sometimes I just want to give up and let her be. Pump a few weeks before going back to work to 1. build up a supply and 2. practice bottle feeding. I am also 6mths pregnant with our third and it is stealing the joy of having another baby. As you say, youre the one who has been there for her all her life and still is in many ways, and now youre suddenly gone much more. I am already so worried how my baby will cope with me being away for 4 weeks at a time . It seems like just in the last two months that all of sudden, she doesnt want me anymore. My husband sees him an hour per day if that and goes out of town a lot. A couple of things helped: 1) we play her favorite music at very loud volume during the feeding to distract her, 2) we make sure to feed her before she gets very hungry so that she is still in a good mood, 3) we make sure my husband, the caregiver, always gives her the bottle, and 4) we keep trying at different times if she doesn't take the Method 1: Take the Baby for a Walk in a Baby Carrier Facing Out Now that you have your bottle ready, it's time to get started. I have a 3 year old with whom I am going through a very same problem and I am having a really tough time with it. Unfortunately I allow my feelings to get hurt too easily. From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. It does feel like all I am used for is food and diaper change. They fidget a lot or hate getting messy. But he just doesnt seem to need me. I just persevered like you, and it really did get better. Please think long and hard before you do so, and before you delude yourself into thinking that leaving the baby with someone other than you for extended periods is no big deal. My daughter doesnt cry when she is with me but she just doesnt want to cuddle or be close. I am also the sole breadwinner in my family. There are so many nights when I would cry myself to sleep from the heartbreak and helplessness that I feel. Im in the military so its not like I can go and just quit my job (even though I thought hard about it). But if we can handle it as adults, and give our children both love and space no matter what, I am certain that our long-term relationship AND bother their and our personal development will benefit. My Baby Doesnt Want Me and Im The Mom!? Our job is then to not take it personally, not reinforce it by showing strong emotions, but simply allow our children to for some reason need one parent more than the other from time to time, It is painful, but it is normal development. This can make a toddler feel like mom has been taken away or even rejected. This has been for pretty much his whole life. It may be because she may be spoiled to the phase of a daddys girl, or it may be you. Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. My mom realizes and tries to reduce it a little, but to no avail. I have an 8 month old daughter. Kiss him and love him non stop. It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? Allow a drip or two go into your baby's mouth, then try to insert the bottle nipple into your baby's mouth. In all honestly, she did take a bottle eventually. How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? He may be more accepting of it if he is not crazy hungry. Honestly I couldnt really handle it for the 8 or 9 months or however long it lasted for me. Can someone give me a lil advice to help me. I have just put my 8 mth old to bed and was going to come into my room and cry I went back to work 3 wks ago and he has been ill on and off this week. My son is 9 months old and , Ive always taken care of him feed, everything he needs Ive been by his side since we left the hospital, now that I moved to another state he doesnt call me momma anymore he calls it to his grandma he just doesnt seem to need me anymore . its my first child n i love her lots cos it took long for me to have her . Both my husband and I made it a consistent schedule just for her.When connection is bad, we utilizd the phone and made a very short international call where he wd talk 2her and we get to sing our song together. I have to admit that I was very impressed by his childcare skills. Thank you and keep your heads up!! The bond is there, and you obviously love her very much. I have been feeling so down recently to see that he doesnt seem to recognise me and prefer my mother in law more than me. His dad loves him but truly has done 15% of all that I do for the baby (feed, clean, entertain, It will all work out, whether you stew or ruminate about any of it.". Therefore, dont think of it as spoiling her if your husband is carrying her around. it has been like this for over a year now & i now just resent them. He squirms out of my arms and nearly vaults himself into my husbands arms when my husband walks past us. it really was beautiful. To help us both my Mom moved in and now stays home with my daughter while I work. She wont get proper help if its not face2face. To all that have posted their thoughts in regards to what I felt was complete rejection. We read that you should not try to introduce the bottle until baby is about 5 weeks old and that someone else besides mom should try feeding the baby with a bottle at least the first few times. Especially living in India just because the Home Office is not convinced I?m married and have a son. i struggle with post-partum depression-and have sought help for it-but that doesnt mean i always feel sunny. So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. Sometimes the distraction of being outside together will help so that she does not focus on dad being away. And the fact that your daughter is now fussy eater may have absolutely nothing to do with those difficult times. Instead allow yourself to really enjoy your time with your daughter. She cries for her grand mother. What she calls you means nothing. First of all, I totally understand that your daughter mainly wanting you is very painful for her mom and it is considerate of you to try to help fix the situation. i dont know why he is acting like this .Does he hate me or doesnt feel secure with me ? Of these numbers, working moms are taking the brunt of the burden. Pls help. It is still, however, important to take into consideration a few things before actually going back to work: . But I feel like there are some differences, too. Im teaching and comes back home in the early evening. I KNOW your baby loves you. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. Its hard to deal with every time and heart-breaking. Hi all i am the farther to my 15 month old son & he is a loving child at home but as soon has we go to his Nana & granddads house he doesnt want to no me. And since you have been at home with him, youre not very exciting. Please someone help me with this I dont want to hate my mom but more than anything I dont want my son to bond better to her. And when he wakes up at night he always looks for his dad and when I want to hold him he pushes my hands away. Ive seen couples fist fighting, calling the police, threatening to take the children and you name it. You sound like a fabulous mom. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. Im a stay at home mom and spend pretty much all my time with her. I am drained to the point where I Make sure you give her 100% of your attention for at least 30 minutes each day and have FUN together during those 30 minutes. You know, she is way too young to be that rancorous. Although I?m not working my mother in law takes care of him most of the time as he hates to be with me. Double-check the milk What do you do when your 7 month old won't take a bottle? But I think something else is equally important if not more. why does my 17 month old ignore me?? Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! While the rate for men with children under 18 hovered between 92.2% and 95.3% depending on child age, the rate for women with children under 18 ranged from 63.8% and 77%. If you can accept that OK, right now she prefers her dad, but that doesnt mean that I am bad or that she hates me. That binds every human for their whole life sure what to do I! 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