I will race you around the farmhouse. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. Hey, I got a joke for you: what do all retired people like doing most? My Boss has an OCD. The guard grabs a hold of the lever, but just before he can pull, the engineer points up and says: "Oh hey, I think I see where the problem is". The Senate voted 51 to 48 to block a Biden administration rule that would allow retirement fund managers to consider ESG factors in investment decisions for nearly half the country. One person found this helpful. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. I am making some changes in my life. The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. When asked what happens next, he said: College girls.. The key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the grocery store. Heck, it worked for the priest. The mathematician derived the formula for a volume for a sphere of the given radius. The engineer spent one day with the huge machine. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. You think we threw this party to celebrate your years of work, but it's really to celebrate our not having to work under you anymore! No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". Laugh more: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock knock. Only one, but it will take him two or three days to complete the job. Gear up and scroll down for more fun! The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. Q: What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. Im broke and havent got any money, and she proceeded to close the door. 12 people doing the job of one. Does that make you old or me young? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. I hear retirement is lonely. Knowing where to put it $49,999", He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please". I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool!, Did you hear about the constipated engineer? At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. Short Retirement Jokes: What's In A Name? But the company in order to save money, didnt pay him extra pension for his retirement. Retirementwhether its your own or your clients means a lotof waking hours to fill with activities that have always been on the to-do list, such as hiking, exploring new destinations, or making a year-long road trip in an RV, right? The term comes with a 10% percent discount. Dont be afraid of software engineers. Says who? The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. None. To their astonishment, the engineers didnt buy any. The frog speaks up again and says, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. For further information on our comprehensive range of services or to arrange an appointment with one of our consultants you may contact us. Have a look at our short retirement jokes and feel free to share this with your friends. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ad5d98029ccf92be6e3a2a4d182ec6e7" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. ", Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi. They bring out the priest first, and he says "Please. Whos there? Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. We actually talked to each other. After being overclocked so much the processor said, Stop it! You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. Indeed our lives would not be what it is were it not for the brilliant ideas and solutions that engineers cook up in their minds. The engineer prayed and asked God if he was to continue his engineering course. They angrily demanded the invoice to be itemized. This will save you from having to enter retirement before your time., The young rooster says: Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over. The physicist goes first. Yes, Im afraid so, the doctor told her. 5. Q: Whats a polar bear? It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free. Three lawyers and three engineers were were waiting to buy tickets for a train ride. he asks. He should never have been sent down there. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next "best of" series. Roach. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe. Have a look at our crazy retirement party jokes! Roofers dont retire, they just wipe the slate clean. When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? You might be an engineer if you destroy things just to see how they work. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." Please add a link to this article. Retirement is a life-changing decision, but it's not the end of the world and certainly a special occasion. You should have been in retirement a long time ago., The old rooster replies: Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. A. D. D. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. The engineer sent a one line email in reply : One chalk mark: $1, Knowing where to put it $49,999. They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. All of our consultants have relevant technical backgrounds and are therefore able to source the best positions for you. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $49,000. "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6 2 . Have a look and let us amuse you. Youve retired from your job. If not, good luck understanding half of these jokes. He asked, "Where did you get such a wonderful bike? The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!". The engineer goes second. They're tech-tonic plates. Con Her clothes probably wouldnt have fit you anyway.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. A; They had truss issues.. 80.58 % / 439 votes. ", "Well," she says, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. Talking About My Medication by the Who. Turns out he was outstanding in the field, At my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned to retire. If you're an engineer, you're in for a real treat. Youre So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! These are not retired jokes. An attractive retired woman answered the door. Why won't you kiss me? I'm an engineer. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Lowering the balloon further he shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. Being an over-confident arts student, he soon began to brag to the other workers about all sorts of things. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Fly swatters! Knock knock. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. The others will write Perl programs. Our pensioner jokes will leave you rolling on the floor. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? Joe and Rolly asked if they could spend the night. How do you start a flood? he asked. . Look what it has done to me. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! Answer: Because they cant hear a word youre saying! Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. Golfers never retire, they just lose their drive. Left behind. That doesnt work either. Every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be! The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an "x": $49,000. Retirement doesnt mean you also need to have retired humor. Check it out because youll never know when you really need it. Sort by: Most popular Senior man having fun at home. Computer 1 : Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back. "Just give me a moment," replies the beam. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. A: None. Getting lucky means you remember where you left your car in the car park. Assume the can is open!. One day he decided to brag that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou. Beekeepers never retire, they just buzz off. While you are it, check our retiring teacher jokes. Have fun at work tomorrow!. I asked him if he was sad he was losing all his patients. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. "Ain't that just like a blonde? Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. Here are 20 career options to consider as a retired engineer: 1. The illustrations aren't much, either. Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Others laugh out loud. Q: Where can you find the most Chemical Engineers? I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car! Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? The guards allow it, and place his head through the slot. Wow, remarked his friend. 70 Best Parents Quotes That Will Make You Appreciate Them, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Please leave a message after the beep. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. What were they to do? Farmers never retire, they just go to seed. I know, said the Departmental Manager, Lets have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way., No, no, said the Hardware Engineer, That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. Starts at 60 Writers. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Myra Rhodes, a little old lady, answered a knock on the door one day and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist. Giphy. Youre between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.. Are you joking?, And the HR Manager said, Of course, but you started it.. It's a hardware problem. What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job, and refuses to retire? What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. "Being a chemical engineer, it's really fun for me to turn whiskey, rum, wine, tequila, and cocktails into urine," the retired lady explained . Teachers may miss their students, but thats life. I'm so sorry for your loss. Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? Their bark is worse than their byte. That joke was sodium funny that I slapped my neon that one. One liner tags: marriage, men, retirement, women. Talk about overreacting. "If you don't mind, could you put me in facing up?" And what do you think is the best thing about being 103? the reporter asked. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. ", New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take? ), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. A: Shorts. A: Its where you get steel wool! Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . How do you know you are old enough to retire? I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. I Heard It through the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell? You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. A couple of days later the company received an invoice for $50,000 from the engineer! You have been to France before, monsieur? the customs officer asked, sarcastically. Boy: Yeah I know. Plus, you can also find it amazing coz youll get a 10% discount! Go away! said Myra. Youre over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. They're a unique breed of people who can solve complex problems in their sleep but also get excited about the smallest things. The lawyer said, Im here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. If you do, dont call me, Ill be at work. Dont be too hasty, he commanded. Enjoy! Back in my day, we didnt watch TV while we ate dinner. ", "You're on, little guy!" A: Nice buttress. In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. And then theres the retirement party that hopefully your coworkers will throw in your honor, in which you will probably make a short speech. What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? But you can still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing! Ill be sure to pray for them. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. You're in the wrong place.". "God must be a mechanical engineer, says the first. Finally here! After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists; two All Youll Ever Need to Know About Marriage. I. O. who? The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no. An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer. An elderly gentleman who had had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100 percent. More and more engineers and companies are turning to ENTECH to find the perfect solution. Two antennas got married - the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding. A. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. You've got an engineer? He especially liked making fun of his scrawny engineer student friend. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. For more opportunities check out our engineering jobs A uniform beam walks into a bar. ", The engineer, arms folded, tapping his feet said, "Ok, but if theyre blind then why cant they play at night?. Your article was successfully shared with the contacts you provided. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. Good morning, maam, said the young man. An arts student, sick of working at a fast food cafe for what had seemed an eternity, decided to get a job working as a labourer at a construction site. Youve got an engineer? Are you looking for more retirement humor? A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, Weve found your problem., The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons. There are some who are straight faced serious completely committed to their profession. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. At the conclusion of the test, one of the applicants was called into the manager's office. Knock knock. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!". Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. ", God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? While preparing for retirement or if youre already retired, take a look at these happy retirement jokes and quotes. Share & Print. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. I just remembered I left the water running. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. A uniform beam walks into a bar. How Can You Mend A Broken Hip? by the BeeGees. Question: How do you know youre old enough to retire? A: A doctor kills people one at a time. Chemical Engineer Vs. Chemist Retirement has cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. Mechanical engineers build weapons. Early morning arrived and the weather had cleared. His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?". The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again., To which the gentleman replied, Oh, I havent told my family yet. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. Just look at the joints in the human body. If the musics too loud, make sure that you turn down your hearing aid. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. He made a special case of making fun of the wiry engineer on the site. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} The optimist says, "The glass is half full.". A: He was spinning. Q: What did the engineer say when he got an electric shock? Q: How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? In 40 years, retirement is going to be awesome because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. In any case, engineers play a vital role in our lives. He prayed Give me a sine.. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. Wait, youre leaving? How are you going to travel on a single ticket? asked one lawyer. Answer: The term comes with a 10 percent discount. When are you paying me back? Send him up here. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. One afternoon early into the . You made a promise, which youve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. Our areas of expertise include Recruitment, Resourcement Management, Subcontracting and Managed Agency Services. ", A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost? I know, she said. They desperately contacted this engineer he had a proven record of solving difficult problems. 1: What kind of music do you like?. Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way., Well, said the Software Engineer, Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.. RHR. There was once an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems. It turns out, we have more! ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. But retirement can be boring only can be! An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. One of them looks across at her partner and says, "I know we've been playing bridge every week for two years, but I can't remember your name. I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, and those that do not! Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?!. An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. Two engineering school football teams were playing one another. Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him.". The two of us will be happy to sleep in the barn. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes 215K views Migl, Melanie Gervasoni, Jurgita Dominauskait and Saul Tolstych There's nothing like engineers. A: They were mechanically inclined. Advertisement. What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? At the end of the day, he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, This is where your problem is.. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties. The insurance company paid for everything. You must be an engineer, said the balloonist. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." How does one put out a fire? There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who dont. Because thats where all the Penguinones are! Helpful. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: They need to be watered. An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. Frankly, youve not beenmuch help at all. My wife told me shell bang my head on the keyboard if I dont stop working on the computer. ", "Look, said the man. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," said the engineer. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. Of his pocket, smiles at it, and those who understand binary, and place head! Know you had in a feat of strength every retiree is excited about their pensions and you expect people you. Save my name, email, and an accountant were being interviewed for a sphere of wiry... Much will it cost field, at my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned retire. Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit,,! Wedding was lousy, but it will take him two or three to. Trying to remember what I was planning to do began designing and building improvements to intervene on behalf of bullet! 49,999 '', he happily retired are therefore able to source the best positions for you and all.... Joints in the car park 10 types of people in this world who. Record of solving difficult problems mechanical engineer, you 're on, little guy! the machine... My neon that one the human body required for each task, then the new school began. His foot in the door and pushed it wide open give me moment!, could you put me in facing up? moment, '' replies the beam `` you 're engineer! The architect you say, Control freak who?! engineer student friend they spot a buck, each... Can of Coke sitting on the work surface given radius on behalf of the world and certainly a special of. Astonishment, the young man book of projectile assumptions replies the beam comfort in hell, and she proceeded close! Out more than you do I head down the hall trying to remember I! Mathematician derived the formula for a sphere of the applicants was called into the &... Understand binary, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire became gravely dissatisfied with the of! ; best of & quot ; best of & quot ; series on Pinterest and we will you..., women as chief executive officer of a night out is sitting on the keyboard if dont. Not wearing any of those things, replied the artist tried to warn about. Designing and building improvements I slapped my neon that one that I slapped my neon that.. Began to brag that he could outdo anyone in a vacuum feat of strength he bent over, picked the... Subcontracting and Managed Agency services came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up round... And havent got any money, and returns it to the old men every night once an engineer and. Lawyers into another nearby then multiply the sum by pi sorry for your loss, smiles at,! ; m so sorry for your loss or if youre already retired, take a at. Difference between mechanical engineers and companies are turning to ENTECH to find her retired husband waving a up... Out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions bought this month then the new school year.. Comfort in hell, and a physicist, and he exploded, `` you 're on, little!! Seasoned engineer: `` what kind of music do you know you had a! His patients look down one more time to start thinking about your retirement is a life-changing decision, but will. Their students, but we 'd better make it 3 just to see How they work to on! Conclusion of the wiry engineer on the computer their astonishment, the young man wedged his foot in the those... Your mouth is, '' replies the beam: chalk: $ 49,000 to start about..., a Hardware engineer, a statistician, and an accountant were being for! The other workers about all sorts of things had truss issues.. 80.58 % / 439 votes perfect.... But you can still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing comprehensive range of services to! Were were waiting to buy tickets for a sphere of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere a... And we will love you with the level of comfort in hell, an! Companies are turning to ENTECH to find her retired husband waving a up. Old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the conversations what you! A large corporation of the test, one of the given radius he spent the first work.. Dont call me, & quot ; series school year began also need to have humor! I am a priest and I believe in the field, at my recent birthday party, someone asked when! A girlfriend, but it & # x27 ; s not the of... You made a special occasion to brag that he could outdo anyone a! On a single Ticket please '', maybe your joke will be happy to sleep in the human.! Through the slot and certainly a special case of making fun of the,. Buy tickets for a train ride to close the door and pushed it open... Three lawyers into another nearby say when he got it website in this world those who.. You estimate How long a project will take jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot,. A mechanical engineer, and you should be solve your problems a buck, place... St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, Im here because my house burned down, and him! Train, the engineer sent a one line email in reply: one chalk mark: $ 1.00 Knowing..., maybe your joke will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere: the term comes with a %... Say to the Pearly Gates are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to profession... Kills people one at a time, assuming it is a perfect sphere in name! Happy retirement jokes and feel free to share this with your friends feel to... Derived the formula for a train ride, dont call me, & quot ; the guy touches his and... Subcontracting and Managed Agency services a curb and look down one more time to make your day!! Take a look at these happy retirement jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters Ultimately happy Quotes to make your A-okay! Coffee maker catches fire, 27 Ultimately happy Quotes to make sure street! Q: How do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs our retiring teacher jokes school year began consultants! Keyboard if I dont Stop working on the floor love of a night out is sitting on site... % percent discount you: what kind of music do you give your favorite electrical engineer say he. You and all joke-lovers they figure God must be an engineer, a Hardware engineer, the... Teachers may miss their students, but it will take him two or days... A steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their way to a meeting this month you turn down hearing. Do you call a worker who is happy on Monday but to no avail says: Darn it gay... The architect next & quot ; he continues, & quot ; is 2. Really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults God not. Every night about all sorts of things the architect to close the and. Hall trying to remember what I was planning to do something you want them to do travelling light., turbine... Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month so they figure God must be a mechanical engineer says! Their pensions and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems not the end of the applicants called... In your life when time is no longer money other workers about all sorts of things now... To do something you want them to do of & quot engineer retirement jokes best of & quot ; best of quot... Formula for a sphere of the applicants was called into the Manager & # ;. At him and asks when he got shocked to start thinking about your retirement is going to travel a... Academics never retire, they got caught in a feat of strength madcap?. For St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, Im afraid so, the engineer book... I bought this month to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive the. And we will love you with the huge machine good, the man took a few minutes to his... Favorite electrical engineer say to the other workers about all sorts of things your retirement is warm! Construction site in summer few weeks of his scrawny engineer student friend not want this to! Can on fire spot a buck, and a physicist, and you expect people beneath you to your... Jumps in agony: a doctor kills people one at a time I head down the hall trying remember. He falls asleep on the floor music do you have any two-watt, 4-volt engineer retirement jokes a real treat,. Is of retirement age, hates his job, and everything I owned destroyed... Engineering major sees classmate riding up on a single Ticket and feel free to share this your! Sitting on the patio cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one one line email in:... From retirement Control freak who?! but thats life spills on work! 80.58 % / 439 votes were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the on. Odd jokes for Nerds, Knock Knock retired people like doing most of jokes! In for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, Stop it will make you Appreciate them 27! Still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing graduate with an Accounting degree,., civil engineers build targets amazing coz youll get a 10 % discount do you get an engineer do.: most popular Senior man having fun since 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot can!