Johannes Bulfin looks at sex and compares them to fly fishing. Are there similarites, you decide.
As far as I'm concerned fly fishing should also be “Recommended by UK doctors”.
”Well that's it! You've discovered fly fishing, now you'll never need sex again!”
Let me paint the scene! I'm sitting on a rock in the middle of the Vaal river, South Africa, and I've just released a 10lb smallmouth yellowfish. I have the shakes and a stupid grin plastered across my adolescent face! Those famous words were declared by my guide/friend, Danie. At the age of 18 I really hadn't a clue about fly fishing, even less about sex! Therefore I was unable to decide if the statement was factual or not…
Having had a few years now to garner a bit of experience in both fields I think it is time that the question was revisited, discussed and a conclusion come to!
We've all heard that men supposedly think about sex every seven seconds. Well that's clearly rubbish, let me briefly prove it too; if I was to think of sex every seven seconds that would work out as 7200 times a waking day (14hrs), I can assure you (and anyone who knows me will testify) that I don´t have 7200 cohesive thoughts on anything, ever, no matter what the duration of time.
It is very difficult to quantify how often a person thinks of something, for research purposes I read a couple of studies that attempted to do so for sex. I couldn´t find any for fly fishing! I know, I'm as shocked as you are.
Therefore in order to understand which is more important to us, I have come up with a few points that should help us decide!
When you know you are going fly fishing how much time do you spend making preparations? This could be anything from an hour to years, depending on the destination. The point is the correct rods, reels and lines are all selected, flies and leaders are tied, waders laid out, permits booked etc etc. Nothing is left to chance! Time on the water is scarce enough and valuable beyond measure!
Preparation for sex? Usually us men find out it might be on its way about five minutes beforehand. Not much time to draw up a battle plan, pity.
How far are you willing to travel for fly fishing? “New Zealand's not that far away, when you really think about it… right?” Dead right!
Sex? Usually it's living room to bedroom, or just living room is good too.
When was the last time you were in a fly shop? How long did you spend browsing? What did you buy? How much did you spend? And what about a sex shop!? Same questions!
I was in a physical fly shop about three weeks ago, I must have spent a good 45 minutes oohing and aahing over various rods, reels and other bits and pieces. I ended up buying a 3wt 6' Vision Vipu rod, a Vision mega bra (real name I swear, google it) waist coat and an Orvis Access mid arbor reel! I cannot publicly confess how much it cost me but may I note that they were on sale, a big sale, the kind of sale that justified that kind of spending. Also the customer service was great…
Now let's leave behind the dangerous waters of my spending splurge and move onto the safe haven of a topic that is; the last time I was in a sex shop and how that went! The entire event lasted about thirty seconds. Maybe it was because I looked 15 years old (and still kind of do). I got shown the door immediately, horrendous customer service! I left feeling like I had just tried to buy illegal drugs. As I fled I checked that no one I knew had seen me come out, come to think of it…. I did the same as I left the fly shop.
So in conclusion the list of scenarios in which we invest far more thought and effort into fly fishing than sex goes on and on… fly tying as a final example. When was the last time you intricately prepared and decorated an item to be used in that evening's bedroom fun? No? Even with Fifty Shades of Grey sparking a bit of a trend…. I still think that “whip finishing” will refer to administering the final touch to a fly! Within the fly fishing community at least.
To read more from Johannes take a look at his blog Road to Water