Jon Kerr makes his ESF debut with a great piece on friendship and fishing, do they go together?
There is a lot of fishing related stuff on social media. I’m happy to dip into it and contribute my opinion, or to just ignore the majority, but one thing has niggled away at me. I don’t know where I saw the comment, a forum, Facebook or even a letter to a magazine but it went something along these lines : “I’m fed up of fishing with friends – it always turns into a competition, I’m sick of it – I’ll fish on my own from now on”.
At first I totally agreed in sentiment – I have friends (associates) that fly fish -IF the weather is nice and the still water in question is ‘easy’ mind you, they pay for their day ticket and assume the right to their four fish at any costs, sometimes to the point of purposely breaking fishery rules by not de-barbing hooks or putting a small fish back in the hope of catching a bigger one ‘for the pot’. We don’t fish together anymore. I felt like the bane of their lives nagging away, tutting and getting annoyed with them, I’ve said my bit and short of ‘shopping them’ and falling out with them I choose to fish alone or with others…others being people that improve my day and have no ill effect on it whatsoever.
My fishing days aren’t chosen, they are dictated to me through the nature of my work. It is stressful, long hours and hardly conducive to productive free time, so fishing is my medicine if you like – I’ll only share company with (what I have now concluded) are these ‘others’, the really good friends that fly fishing has helped to bring to the fore, lifetime friends, no competition, just people I would happily fish with every day – and who I am sure would reiterate the feeling. I guess I’ll find out for sure but deep down I know we are of a similar ilk.
I fished the river Test last year with a friend who I met through my local Orvis store when we moved to Gloucestershire five years ago. I was just a ‘customer’ but Keith Passant (a friend of Pete Tyjas and ESF contributor) was a cut above the rest in knowledge, humour, wit and all things fishing related – one of life’s ‘good guys’. After a year or so we had a day's fishing together. This turned out to be the equivalent of a free day's guiding. Any questions about casting, flies etc were answered with as much help as possible, if I didn’t ask anything we just fished and shared jokes – none of the “you don’t want to be doing that, you want to do it like THIS”, we just got on with what we were doing, catching fish, laughing (a lot) and having a great day. When we fished the river Test (first time for me) any thoughts of a “got to catch fish, hallowed turf” etc went out of the window when KP was heard singing (in full voice) a horrendous rendition of a Pink Floyd song – laughter set the tone for the day, we caught fish but I couldn’t recollect how many or what size as much as I couldn’t (and shouldn’t) recollect some of the jokes, mickey taking and conversations. Needless to say Keith is held in the highest of esteem, is now a solid friend of the family and I would fish with him anytime, anywhere.
My second obvious reply or comment to the “never fishing with mates again” would be to relate a chance invitation to fish for grayling one cold and miserable day in Wales. A total stranger went out on a limb and offered me his company and his river for the day – that is my mentality entirely and I took him up on it – the friendship and learning that it would subsequently lead to possibly defines my cross over from still water to rivers and I have two lifelong friends that it is always an absolute joy and pleasure to fish with. If you will indulge me a little more of your time I shall explain.
It had been a few years since my wife and I had been away for a few days and upon recommendations we booked a cottage at Golden Grove, Llandeilo. Our son was one year old that week and that was a good enough excuse to pack Pennell (our black lab) and numerous baby related items into the Land Rover and ****** off early January for four days.
I had posted a message on a fishing forum asking where there may be any grayling fishing opportunities, as it turns out there aren’t too many rivers that hold them (I was still fishing reservoirs then and rivers were completely new to me at the time).
I got a reply from a chap called Ade through private message offering to meet me on his river and to take me out for the day. It was a 40 minute drive and an offer that even my wife said I would be daft not to accept, bless her.
I arrived on the banks of the Ewenny near Pencoed, S.Wales slightly apprehensive as to whom I would be meeting and even if we would get along, no doubt Ade was the same (he’d taken the bigger gamble handing out the olive branch to a stranger). It took an hour before I was totally at ease, Ade wanted me to catch fish, to help without being intrusive and for us to have fun. That we did. When we stopped for half an hour Ade lit his Kelly Kettle, pulled out some Welsh cakes and it dawned on me we were much the same. It is entirely possible to get the same level of enjoyment from a day’s fishing by wanting and willing someone else to catch even if it means a lack of fishing for yourself – you just need like minded folk.
This was then amplified by the fact that Ade’s friend happened to fish for his National team. It was no surprise that Rob had a very similar personality to Ade, and therefore me. The three of us are now extremely good friends, stay in contact regularly and help each other out as much as possible with flies, advice, tying materials and just good natured banter and jokes. We fished the Usk on a bright and hot day earlier this year, the river was low and the fish were expected to be spooky. Probably not ideal for three of us to fish together and taking it in turns to catch fish from the pools – any one of us could have put the fish down but it mattered not a jot. One fished, the other two chatted on a nearby level piece of bedrock offering insults, advice and helping to net fish / take photographs. Each of us were just wanting to see their mate catch fish - something that might seem quite alien to some people. As it happened somebody was clearly looking down on us and we were rewarded with beautiful Usk spotties, these fish were the icing on an already fantastic day though, a bonus to a degree.
Sometimes it is not just about the fish, yes they bring us together with a shared passion but if you find those friends, the very best of company, then you will truly appreciate how much they can make any day more enjoyable. I like fishing on my own but if I want a guaranteed fantastic day I just pick up the phone and dial wisely.
Only a mate would capture somethings for posterity, Ade's photo highlights of a recent day on the Escley neglected to feature many fish !
If you're fishing in the Cotswolds and fancy a post fish beer and something excellent to eat be sure to pop into Jon's pub and say hi.